Relationship pitfalls: the causes of problems

"The roots of our emotions are always in the unconscious and manifest in the body."

Connection is created in each of us in different ways. For some, during sexuality and intimacy, which promote the relationship. For others, an emotional connection is desirable above all else. Have you thought about what makes you feel most connected to your partner?

If everything works based on my own internal logic, then this is how I interpret everything in a relationship, because this is what I believe to be true.

These beliefs are either true or not. It's worth asking the question: "Have I ever experienced this in a relationship?"

Many women struggle with not experiencing sexuality. They cannot possess it, so they give it up, renounce their own sexual power and thereby surrender themselves.

This resignation often results in them feeling like a victim, which often appears in passive behavior, avoiding responsibility, and in the form of excuses, but it can also indicate the suppression of our sensuality if we are too "sleepy", tired, if we build cool defenses around ourselves , or we are constantly tense and frustrated.

It is important to understand that in order to be able to live this again, we need to figure out what we want, not what we don't.

“How can I do more for my own sexuality? What do I want to become in this relationship?”

(Most of the time, cheating doesn't happen because I want to leave the person I'm with, but because I want to be different... I want to get to know another side of me.)

Many people grow up with negative views about sexuality, full of shame and guilt.

To this day, it is the most controversial topic, despite the fact that everything about it can be found on the Internet today. The consequence? Inability to openly communicate about sex with a partner and in general. It's a relationship battle.

Like everything, it also has invisible "dimensions" that act as a guiding thread...

3 hidden reasons why a relationship battle can start:

  • Power and control (e.g. who earns more money, arguing in front of the children undermines authority, why you only have sex when you want it)
  • Care and closeness (e.g.: why do I always call you, why don't you support me when you see that I'm upset, why we don't have sex anymore)
  • Respect and recognition (e.g. you go out with your friends without asking, you never acknowledge what I do for you, you don't see how much I achieve in the profession)

To get out of these games, we need a new pattern.

These old patterns, whose foundations are always to be found in the past, pull us back into the same spiral, which makes us feel worthless, neglected and misunderstood and fall back into the trap of judging each other and bringing up past hurts.

The first and most important thing to express our feelings is to recognize our own functioning and the patterns of the injured person and to be able to change it together.

Positive self-awareness and positive reinforcement of the other is the key in this process, which shapes our experiences. The rebuilding of intimacy is an important milestone in this process, in order to find the common things that draw us towards each other and not away from each other.