"If you want to be in the light, you have to face your shadow."
Our shadow personality is our "dark side", to which we mainly associate primitive, negative human emotions and impulses, such as anger, envy, greed, selfishness, lust, and the pursuit of power. And in a sexual sense, everything that is not livable for us is condemned ("taboo" for myself or my environment and society) and not accepted. What we feel is different even from childhood, but we have never dared to express or talk about it until now.
You are afraid of being shamed and judged, so even you condemn this part of yourself.
Everything we deny in ourselves—anything we deem inferior, evil, or unacceptable—becomes part of the shadow.
Everything that is incompatible with our chosen, conscious attitude towards ourselves is exiled to this dark side.
The personal shadow is the denied self. This shadow self represents us when we do not take responsibility for ourselves and do not recognize the positive qualities inherent in it. It's not just about our human relationships but it is also true for our sexual orientation..
And the more we deny them, the less we get rid of them.
We can only recognize it and work with it if we start to see it and approach it consciously.
Every young child knows kindness, love and generosity – but how to express anger, selfishness and greed is no longer taught (this is the process of self-regulation). Instead, there is guilt, shame, humiliation, and alikes.
These emotions are part of our common humanity. But as we grow up, something happens.
We accept the qualities associated with the idea of "being good", while we reject the ideas of "being bad".
In essence, it sounds like this: from early childhood, we begin to psychologically cut off certain parts of ourselves.
We separate ourselves from the best parts of ourselves, like courage, generosity, and compassion.
And we separate from the worst parts of us, like envy, pettiness, and anger. Because this is how we can adapt to social and family expectations – to receive love and care.
This is especially true for sexuality and sexual awareness, which is considered taboo to this day. (I'm not talking about porn or "sexual freedom", because that's always blurred for many people.)
What happens when you integrate your shadow?
– Better, higher quality human relationships (without masks).
– Clearer vision of the world (your authentic Self): if you are aware of yourself, you know your values, and you will also see the values of others.
– Increased physical and emotional energy (no more suppression and playing games).
– Emotional balance (the shadow is integrated).
– More creativity (because I get to know my hidden potential).
All of this can be achieved with awareness... if you want to get to know your shadow part, and therefore, your potential...
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